Friday, January 23, 2009

After losing a loved one.

What happens when you take a crayon out of the box?  All the other crayons move around to take up the vacant space left behind.  They might stay all standing up nice and straight for a bit, but eventually they move around and instead of nice straight rays of color, you have a mess in the crayon box.  

Families are just like boxes of crayons.  When one family member physically leaves (crossing over) inevitably everyone's energy starts to shift to take up that vacant space.  I have seen this happen so many times, in my long career.  However, even though I anticipate what is about to happen, and try to brace my client for the oncoming energy shift, it is a gut wrenching experience and family members can turn on each other.  

If you are going through this, you are not alone.  Your siblings are not damned to hell.  They have not lost their minds, perhaps a part of their hearts, but even that will eventually heal.  If you had a good relationship before the loss, you will once again when everyone gets used to the change.  

This reorganization of energy affects the whole clan.  Unless of course, it was a family member that you never knew or had not seen in years and years.  I would still think that even in this type of situation, some energy shifting still happens, to the entire group although in less severe or perceivable ways.  

After suffering a loss of a family member, if you can, table as many major decisions for six months.  I know this is hard, and some things have to be taken care of, just relax and let the things that can wait, wait.  Sometimes, the only families can agree on during this time is to just leave things alone. 

Once the energy settles, decisions will be easier to make, the people in your family that seemed to have lost their minds will have hopefully calmed down and level headed thinking can once again take place. 

Like crayons we all have unique beautiful qualities to bring to the family.  Just breathe, ignore those crazy things your family is doing and know that one day your family will be able to find their correct space, straighten up and life won't feel like it is such a mess!  

1 comment:

  1. True….and like the Willow tree we can bend without breaking in the storm, damaged we can be, some we show, some we hide (not hold) and in the pain is the healing……

    ReplyDelete